
Sheila and I made a long drive so I could get some grief counseling a few days ago. It was worth the trip. It helped us both.
Well into our session, after talking about the cumulative effects of loss and grief, I said, “I’m going to bury my mom next Wednesday.”
Before I could speak another word the doctor interrupted me and said, “But not her memory.”
“What?” I asked. I’d been paying so much attention to what I was saying that I feared I'd misunderstood his sudden rejoinder.
He said again, “Not her memory. You’re not going to bury your memories of your mother.”
“No.” I said, feeling at once like I was stating the obvious, but desperately needing to say it out loud, whether it was obvious or not.
“That’s true,” I agreed, “I’m not burying my memories of my mother.”
Alzheimer’s is a terrible and curious disease, and the good doctor sitting with me was able to brilliantly juxtapose the anguish of Mom’s last decade of memory loss with my strong and clear memories of her.
In that moment I felt a great wave of faith wash over me. I trusted God. I didn’t feel my grief disappear, nor was I aware of the slightest deliverance from my sadness. But I knew my mother was lucid once again, that she was unclouded, set free from the confusion of Alzheimer’s and thinking clearly – more clearly than ever before.
And that brought me great comfort.
Mom’s OK. In fact, she just enjoyed her best Christmas ever. So as I grieve losing her, and acknowledge the sun has set on her life on earth, I take comfort in knowing she’s already in the presence of Jesus. Mom’s memories have returned to her as she has returned to God.
My memories of her are strong. I think I’ll take a few days and treasure them, going back to cherish each memory for a while before I move on to other things. My doc says that’s what I should do, and I’m in no shape to argue.
The days of our lives are numbered, as are the hours of each day, so I want to make each day count. I want to add value, encourage others and cheer others on, especially because the day is coming when all my days on this earth will end; the sun will set on my life and I’ll join those who’ve journeyed ahead of me into the presence of God Almighty.
May God keep us in the palm of HIS hand as that Day approaches.
Hebrews 10:23-25 (The Message) - Let's keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let's see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.