Why Can't We Help Like We Want To?

 

I’ve been asked why so many of us feel like we’re unable to help others – even when we want to. It’s like we’ve got good intentions but lack the ability to live them out.

Here’s my first-blush effort to explain why we struggle to get to a place where we can assist others - whether they're Haitian, our neighbors, our family or our own children.

 1.  We don’t know where we’re going.  I don’t mean this minute; I mean this year. It’s easy to say, “What do you mean? I know exactly where I’m going. I’m going to the hardware store.” The challenge comes in explaining where you’re going in 2010.

 2.  We’ve ignored those who’ve already gone there. I don’t mean we’ve failed to notice others have done what we’re trying to do. The problem is we’ve refused to listen to them when they talk about how they did it. We didn’t watch them when we could have. Now we can’t follow in their footsteps because we don’t know where they are. It’s tough to follow guides you ignore.

 3.  We’re trying to go too fast too soon. I don’t mean we shouldn’t swim across the English Channel or win the Daytona 500. We probably should go big or go home, but our training regimen in recent months hasn’t prepared us to do great things. Right now, we’re better prepared for the local hot-dog-eating contest than the race of our lives. It’s difficult to go fast if you haven’t practiced going at all.

 4.  We haven’t packed for the trip. I don’t mean our suitcases have any room left in them. I’m just saying the size of a carry-on bag is limited and we’ve loaded ours with snack food and questionable reading material. What we need is the stuff that makes us stronger, but we’ve loaded up with Twinkies and The Enquirer. How can you make the journey of your life without good nourishment along the way?

 5.  We’re not willing to leave where we are. Everyone understands when we say, “I like my life the way it is.” Problem is, everyone is afraid to tell us, “'life, like it is’ is impossible.” Things are changing. Even if our loftiest goal is to stay where we are, we’d need to swim against the sweeping currents of our faith and our culture to realize such ill-defined and self-serving success. Jesus said, “Go make disciples.” You can’t go if you don’t leave, and I’m not just talking geography.

 6.  We’re afraid. We fear losing our friends. We fear wasting our time. We fear losing our status. I’m not suggesting those things don’t matter. I’m saying you save your life by losing it and you find your life when you purposefully give it away. The things we fear losing are saved when we live on mission. A focused life attracts friends, redeems time and clarifies who we really are.

 7.  We’ve got no margin in our lives.  I don’t mean we’re busy and tired. I mean we’re living without a plan and facing exhaustion because we’ve over-reached our ability. When it comes to our money, time and energy, we’ve spent more than we have. We’re in debt, so we can’t give. Whether it’s money, time or energy – we’re spent.  Careless and reckless living ruins your ability to help others because you’ve got nothing left to give – no matter how much you wish you could.  (Of course, this apparently doesn’t apply to our country because, no matter how many trillions of dollars we’re in debt, we can just go borrow more money from China.  Hmmm. I wonder who’s gonna pay all that money back?  Tag. You’re it.)

 So…

• Get a life. Make a plan worthy of your existence. (The Bible can help you with this.)
• Pay attention. Start listening to those doing what you’d like to do.
• Practice. Want to do something great? Start building your talent, strength and stamina - one step at a time.
• Cut the crap. Read a good book, listen to a helpful podcast, memorize 2 Peter 1:2-12 and fuel up.
• Get in gear.  Gravity hates you. Intercept your entropy and start moving.
• You’re going to die. There. Now that we’ve got that settled, what’s to fear? Go ahead and live. (Jesus can help you with this.)
• Say, “No.”  Stop spending more than you have, or you’ll have nothing to offer. Manage your money, time and energy so you have something to give others. Get yourself in position to help.

Proverbs 15:22  -  Refuse good advice and watch your plans fail; take good counsel and watch them succeed.

Comments

[brianburris]

You have no idea how much you helped me with this today Mark. You were able to verbalize my exact thoughts and feelings of the last 12 months. There is no power in intention. Many don't realize there is a huge difference between charging forward and simply moving forward. Charging forward leads to an empty "tank" while moving forward allows us to fully "absorb" what is going on around us. Reminds me of a past statement of yours that "people overestimate what they can accomplish in one day, but completely underestimate what they can accomplish in ten years." It's all about patience and waiting upon the lord. Great post Mark.