Driving a rental truck across Texas with Sheila may change me forever. In an effort to help you appreciate the experience, I've decided to share what I've learned so far...
- Several people have admonished me, "Don't mess with Texas." I have no idea what that means and I awaken each morning filled with dread, unsure whether I've unknowingly messed with Texas or not.
- Texas songs have lyrics like: "How can I miss you if you won't go away?" and "If you don't leave me alone, I'll go find someone else who will," and "If my nose was full of nickels I'd blow it all on you." No one should sing such songs.
- Those guys on the Border Patrol are some bad hombres, and the Texas State Troopers are too. In my experience, neither thinks anything is funny, no matter how funny anything actually is.
- People in Texas live in towns named Bug Tussle, Dew, Spur, Cut and Shoot, Earth and Gun Barrel City.
- I was told, "When you're down here talking with someone, you shouldn't ask where he's from. If he's from Texas, you won't have to ask because he'll tell you. And if he isn't from Texas, you shouldn't embarrass him by calling attention to it."
- Everything is bigger in Texas - even crosses. Sheila took this picture of me standing at the foot of the smallest cross we could find down here. We located this one in a town called Groom, and it's only 190 feet tall and weighs only 1250 tons.
Is there anything else I should know?
Psalm 119:16 - Be generous with me and I'll live a full life; not for a minute will I take my eyes off your road. Open my eyes so I can see what you show me of your miracle-wonders. I'm a stranger in these parts...
I LOVE MY HOMELAND!!!!!!!!! Isn't it great! hahaha
Posted by: DC Curry | February 16, 2010 at 02:33 AM
Laughed the entire time I read this.
Posted by: J Aquila | February 16, 2010 at 08:39 AM
This is just plain funny! Love it!
Posted by: Jason Petermann | February 16, 2010 at 09:11 AM
it's true, yall!
Posted by: Buck Cueni-Smith | February 16, 2010 at 09:52 AM
The Texas State Troopers aren't that bad...unless you're driving a car with an out-of-state license plate.
The national food of Texas is either Tex-Mex or Chicken Fried Steak. Don't ask for rolls, ask for tortillas.
Once you are north of the Red River, you've left God's Country!
Posted by: Paul_Schneider | February 16, 2010 at 05:31 PM
Hilarious! I sent it to my friends that live in Texas --hopefully they'll still like me
Posted by: Kristin Ruther | February 18, 2010 at 09:48 AM
Well pastor, This did not even hit me as funny (I do see the humor) but I couldn’t laugh because it hit me where I am, I too am a stranger where I am at right now and I have been praying sincerely for Gods guidance in my life and situation. Thank you for this scripture I pray God will be with you and Sheila, an all the family in your trips, and thank you for your prayers and guidance through sharing with us.
God bless
RW
Posted by: R W | February 20, 2010 at 10:06 AM
Of course there is no crime in Texas, so the LEO's have nothing better to do. (Unless he suspected you of something else)
Posted by: Church Construction | June 30, 2011 at 04:39 AM