I've been praying for my wife this morning.
Sheila is God's gift to our family.
Since we were married, back in 1976, I've asked God to strengthen me for the work of marriage and the responsibilities I accepted when I made my wedding vows. I've read a zillion books on marriage, attended seminars and listened to speakers as they challenged me to be God's man.
My friend Ron Vandergriend told me about an Hasidic rabbi in Jerusalem who has some interesting thoughts on marriage, so I figured I'd add the rabbi's perspective to the mountain of advice I've received from everyone else. His is one more voice to pour through the filter of scripture.
I don't agree with everything the rabbi says, but I thought these paragraphs were interesting, so I'm passing them along to you.
FIRST:
"Every married individual should feel that he or she alone bears the responsibility for peace in the home. Both partners in the marital union must learn their respective responsibilities and obligations and do their utmost to fulfill them. Neither should police the other; a person that's occupied with finding fault in someone else fails to see his or her own faults."
SECOND:
“If you want to honor your wife, compliment her and praise her and never say anything negative to her. Don’t be lazy about this. Every word of encouragement, support, comfort, praise or honor is a gift of loving-kindness that you give your wife. Each one plants in her the feeling that you value and cherish her, and this literally gives her new life. You build her self-confidence and fill her with vibrancy and joy, which make it easier for her to cope with the challenges of life. The words of praise that you tell her constantly echo in her heart. Every time she thinks about them, she’s filled with joy. This strengthens the home spiritually, making it a joyous, happy and peaceful place. Words of praise give her the strength and will-power to manage her home and children in the best possible way. Tell her how happy you are with her and impressed you are with her skills, alacrity and wit. Express all of this with emotionally-packed words – make her feel that she’s your greatest treasure. Be consistent with your compliments and never take them back.”
- Rabbi Shalom Arush:
Director of the “Chut Shel Chessed” Institutions of Jerusalem
Ephesians 5:33 - Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Thank you for sharing these words of wisdom.
Posted by: Mattmetzger | February 01, 2011 at 11:44 PM