Why Do Some Quit And Others Don't?

 

If you've been to the beach you've seen this happen, so this story won't surprise you.

A little kid was building a sandcastle on the beach. I'm sure it was a sandcastle because in spite of its appearance, he told me: "I'm building a sandcastle."
I believed him.
Under the watchful eye of his mother, his work progressed until some bad boys walked over and stomped his sandcastle, grinding it underfoot until all of the little boy's efforts were wiped-out and reduced to nothing. 

The kid with the stomped-on dreams sat there in disbelief. The kid's mom said all the things mothers say when bad boys stomp on their kid's sandcastles. The bad boys ran off to do mischief elsewhere. I refrained from entering the fray - a very good decision as I look back on it - choosing to hold firmly to my life-long conviction that adults shouldn't physically discipline children while they are feeling great anger. Everyone survived but I can't stop wondering about the little dreamer who got his sandcastle stomped.

Maybe you can help me with this one.

It wasn't ten minutes later when I looked over to see the little boy back at work, digging in the sand, building another sandcastle.

Why would he do that?
What did he have that enabled him to begin building all over again?

Some dreamers see their efforts come to naught, their victories overturned, their progress blocked and their success undone. They see the marriages they built fly apart. They see their businesses fail, their investments turn to dust and their health annihilated by cancer and disease. They watch as a trusted friend and teammate abandons the mission and walks out, leaving them alone to fix the mess that's left behind. They see their dreams stomped so thoroughly that any evidence they've been working is completely obliterated. 

So, they quit.

They pick up their bucket and shovel and go inside to eat some lunch and play video games. In other words, they leave their old life of productivity, effort and industry. They quit. Heartbroken and overwhelmed, they go hunker down and do their best to enjoy what they have while they have it. No more crushed dreams for them because they stop working to make their dreams come true. 

• Bad boys can't ruin my dreams if I stop trying to make my dreams come true. 
• Bad boys can't stomp on my heart if I don't attempt to do anything "with all my heart."

But others are different. They don't quit. 

Other dreamers experience all that pain and disappointment, then they shrug their shoulders, take a deep breath and look around for their little shovel so they can start building another sandcastle. It's as if they're unfazed by the brutal and merciless destruction of their dream. It's like it doesn't occur to them that if they dream a new dream, and work to make that dream come true, they could end up building another sandcastle and the bad boys might destroy it too. In the back of their minds, they know that, but it doesn't stop them. They choose to try again. They start digging, joyfully piling up the sand as if their next sandcastle will last forever.

Stomped-on people respond to smashed dreams, betrayal, cruelty, loss and heartbreak differently.

• Some give up and quit. 
• Some start over and begin to build again.

Why is that?

Romans 12:21a  -  Do not be overcome by evil.

Comments

[Warren Carswell]

Thanks for the post! I would like to suggest one more option. Rebuild and Stomp out injustice! When I was about 9, a bad boy trampled my castle on the beaches of Hilton Head, SC. I don't quit. So, I rebuilt the castle. He didn't quit either. He returned to stomp it out again. I rebuilt it for the 3rd time. However, this time after completion, I waded slightly into the water, squatted, and waited for his return. I saw him coming back for the 3rd time. With his intentions clear to destroy my work again, I leaped out of the water, chased him down, placed him in a headlock and commenced a UFC whupping (that's southern for beating). His mom pulled me off of him while my parents ran to the scene. When the sand settled, I finished building my castle and the bad boy didn't attack it again! For the past 15 years, I have been building castles and fighting injustices as a UMC pastor in the Virginia United Methodist Conference:)

[julie herwick]

Thanks Mark. This so applies to the many public school teachers this year that have begun to lose hope. I think maybe a pail and shovel will be good year end presents for my fellow teachers. I think we don't give up because we hear the call.

[Sharon Hoover]

Thanks for your words, Mark! Your question is one I too frequently ponder, especially in my ministry with teens. We do not seem to be much of a persevering people these days. I see too many students give up on grades, activities...and, sadly, even life. I believe that we have not struggled and overcome issues enough to build our "persevering" muscles. Too many times well-meaning parents rush in to solve the problems...not allowing God time to work or the student time to wrestle with Him or the issue. We then have young adults without any history of problem-solving. Hence, no growth. Not that I'm looking for trials ... but we need more Romans 5:1-5 experiences.

[judy dillon]

Pastor Mark~ Love this post!

My question is - why is it that boys - no matter their age - are usually the ones to SMASH the sandcastles, while girls like to admire them? I used to build sandcastles with my kids, and Brian ALWAYS had to smash them! And now I am building sandcastles with my grandkids, and my grandson smashes them - most times just as we are putting the finishes touches on them! Boys seems to get great joy in doing that!

I'm not a quitter and will continue to build sandcastles with my grandkids every chance I get! I LOVE to invest time in my grandkids and make great memories. Maybe one day my grandson will want to admire our sandcastles with my granddaughter and I ... but I am not holding my breath!

[MK @ Teach Sunday School]

Just like you said, yes, I have seen that happen completely. It’s so encouraging and inspiring when a child looks defeat in the face and simply doesn’t give up. And I’m afraid that I can’t answer your question—I have no idea why some people give up so easily and others persevere. But I have a feeling that it has to do with having the ability to put your life in God’s hands.